he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
