Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
