i will never coherently bang her
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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