He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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