Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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