he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
