you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
