if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
