So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
