btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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