I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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