She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
