Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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