Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
