Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
