I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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