I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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