Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
