he shaved USA in his pubs
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize