And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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