im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
