party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
