Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
