hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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