I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
