Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize