Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
