direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
