I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
