He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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