Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
