How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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