Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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