Plan B is the new Plan A
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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