he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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