Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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