wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
