not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
