I can text with my tongue
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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