I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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