i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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