you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
