p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
