Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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