Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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