I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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