I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
