I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
