love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
