here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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