The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
