I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had to cum in my sink.
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