Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
