I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
