Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
