I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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