You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
